Lost in Dundee an Artist Residency at DCA

How do you ''Engage"?

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:10:30 -0400

I never have a fixed agenda when I embark on a new piece of work, especially in a new location. My work is informed through conversations and exchanges, be that with people who use the space or the location itself. This is not a process that can be rushed, it is imperative to listen to what you are being told and I employ all my senses in this.

But how do you engage with a building? It is a bit like meeting someone for the first time who you know you are going to be friends with (though you might not necessarily like each other). A lot depends on how things ‘Feel’ for me, this will lead me to the next step or question and I take my lead from there.

This residency was different in that I am familiar with cultural spaces, the gallery, the cafe, the cinema and I understand the language of each those. However, this was a different unfamiliar landscape and the nuances of the language were different. In addition I knew very little about the language of architecture. This was when I realised there was a difference between ‘the space’ and ‘the building’.

The Engage Residencies were focussed on disability and engagement. There are obvious differences between visible disabilities and hidden disabilities. This extends to how people engage, react or think about those who experience the hidden ones. This is further complicated because sometimes those hidden disabilities are more present or visible than others.

From walking through the massive sliding door of DCA I had to ask myself how do I negotiate the space to the front of house desk and beyond. Learning the language of the space and building was not straight forward. DCA as a place is not static. I like to know if a wall is a wall – permanent, still – but in DCA what looks like a wall could quite easily be a closed door – and knowing this affects how I would engage with that space.

Bearing all this in mind – the multi use building, the different cultural and social spaces, the psychology of architecture and urban spaces – I worked in the print room to produce responsive works from my conversations and observations.

Some of the works reference disability directly and others play with the notion of what is acceptable or normal or a disability per se. Similarly, some are more obvious or visible than others.

The Unbelievable Truth - This means YOU!

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 05:15:00 -0400

Article 27

1. Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits.

On a slightly different note I was bemused and amused by this...

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 05:53:39 -0400

On a slightly different note I was bemused and amused by this playing over the PA at Dundee University

I don't want to be rude I'm just feeling vulnerable

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 04:47:23 -0400

It’s a constant dilemma but mostly i know where i stand. If someone asks me how i am then i tend to answer truthfully. Mostly i know people aren’t actually remotely interested in ‘how you are’ - it’s a social construct - they just want you to say fine, or good, so you can move on. People (mostly) don’t want to know where you are on your own anxiety scale, or how close to the edge you are, or how well you are coping - well enough to be out but not to fully integrate with the world - well enough to be out and only do the things in your safe zone - well enough to be out but don’t want to be ambushed by new things in an already unsteady and unstable world. I’m sure you get the picture.

Yesterday I was on the well enough to be out as long as i mediate my interactions in the world really really tightly. I was introduced to someone whilst talking to someone else. I was the proverbial rabbit in the headlights. I know the social mores etc - say hello and shake hands - except i didn’t - couldn’t - face that personal contact - and such was my level of anxiety that i couldn’t really engage even on a superficial level. Now my dilemma comes because when asked how i was by the ‘introducer’ i said ok - but that was because i didn’t want to expose myself in front of a complete stranger in a situation where it would be inappropriate to divulge your inner psychological fragilities. But then that lead to the further awkward exchange and me not shaking hands - which makes me appear just a bit rude - not vulnerable. So today i feel i have to go and do some apologising.

So should I have been emotionally honest and exposed myself emotionally in front of a stranger - should i have explained myself - should i have stayed at home? I don’t know. It’s fraught. And i guess it’s has a salience to the residency which is why i am putting it here. Maybe i should think of doing some contextualising rather than apologising and maybe engender a debate around this and similar issues.

This is the first in a series of compulsions. It will be shown...

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 06:30:00 -0400

This is the first in a series of compulsions. It will be shown at DCA - maybe in a variety of guises - but it is currently on display as a text based intervention at the Art House, Wakefield in my solo exhibition - Promise Me

What is it about galleries and disabilities

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 06:25:00 -0400

(I wrote the following in response to my work at DCA on the a-n website but I now feel it should also be here.)

People with disabilities negotiate space differently depending upon their impairment. -

Before I go any further I need to make a necessary comment about language - the disability world is fraught in terms of language - all I need to say is that my terms may be incorrect but my heart is in the right place and I am talking from within the circle rather than without - Phew! Back to the art!

So people negotiate space differently. For wheel chair access we can see that it needs to be a minimum of 75cm for a door. But for hidden impairments? I engage with my space differently to a blind or deaf person perhaps - the ‘feel’ the psychological aspect of the space is paramount for me. Where are the doors, windows, high ceilings, do the walls move, is that wall actually a door? And yes in the case of DCA that wall actually IS a door and therefore messes with the ranking of the room (see earlier post) - and therefore messes ever so slightly with my head. All these and more impact on wether or not i even enter a space or how i feel about those spaces. And i’m not even in the gallery yet!

Galleries are not known for their riots or public disorder or as unsafe environments - but that depends entirely on your perspective. Big spaces can be intimidating, small spaces can be claustrophobic - one size doesn’t fit all. All i know is that i need to create a safety matrix as i go around the varying spaces.

I haven’t even got to how relevant is contemporary art, generic gallery visitors, stereotypical disabled people and their lack of interest in culture because they are too busy being isolated on their sink estates in their low achievement high rises. Well wake up to the real world - that’s a stereotype - there’s plenty of high functioning socially engaged disabled people too. What about them and their cultural appetite. Where do we go?

Why don’t people with disabilities engage with contemporary art spaces.The people of dundee are being quite quiet on this one at the moment.

So I never went to Art College

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 04:18:05 -0400

I learnt to print only a few years ago - spurred on by my love of letterpress. At that stage i didn’t own any letters or presses or drawers or any other printing paraphenalia. Then i did a short course at a University. This lead me on to doing an Artist Access to Art Colleges - 100 hours access to a uni art department. That first course was like having a whole new world opened up to me. That’s the thing with print. Each process opens up a whole new world, sometimes a new universe.

So i never did go to art college. And when you say you’re an artist people assume that you did, that you trained in the rarefied atmosphere of academia. Sorry to disappoint. My route to art has been circuitous. Maybe thats more common for disabled artists or artists who identify themselves as having a disability. But then we fall in the handy classification of the ‘Outsider Artist’ - ‘Art Brut’ - ‘Raw Art’.

When you say you’re an artist people assume you to have a practice such as painting or sculpture or drawing. My practice is Text and i use lots of media, techniques and processes within that. I did the printing because i was wanting to make a specific work and didn’t know how to execute it. So I learnt. That’s how i work. If I conceive a work that i do not know how to make i go away and learn the technique.

So being in the print room on a residency based in there a lot of people expect me to be a printmaker. I can print but i wouldn’t call myself a printmaker. However this week i re-learned how to print - and what a revelation. I learned in a print room that had changed little since the 60’s. The nitric acid was just out in the room. The washing area was not sealed off - often splashing works close by. The exposure unit was a tilt table and a timed light - this too was just lose in the room. Don’t get me wrong, i had many a happy hour there. I learned what i needed to learn - in fact one print i made there got taken into the government collection. But looking back i didn’t really learn printing.

This week i went back to basics - though it was hard to unlearn everything. Every print room has different cultures, different ways of doing (the same) things. Marie Ann took me from the separations to the printing - on huge beds -and what a dream. The whole process is so much easier and smoother and less bother - yes things can go wrong - things do go wrong - but it has reawakened my passion for print.

And I had forgotten what camaraderie therecan be in the print room, how generous people are with their time and knowledge. Unfortunately not every print room is like the one here at DCA. What a fantastic resource with great people who work in there and visit there.

Oh - and I don’t regret not going to art college - it has left me hungry and inquisitve with a child-like wonder when i see or learn a new process or technique - and i would hate to lose that.

Something Personal for a Sunday Morning

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 07:13:00 -0400

I have done many residencies in the past. However this is the first one that has required being ‘in residence’ in the city not just driving to and from, sleeping in your own bed at the end of the day.

It’s complex.

I am a very sociable person, i like talking to people. i like observing from a distance as a scientist in the field - but i also like my space. Now i am going to go on a rambling curvy trajectory here so bare with me. In a professional capacity i am relatively confident, on a personal level i am relatively shy - preferring to talk on an individual basis or very small groups at a push - i don’t function well in big groups. I say this because it’s not always clear in my own mind what i am at any particular moment when in residence and say in the cafe - is that me time or am i still on the clock as it were?

Also, how do you get that meaningful human contact, that warmth of conversation from a familiar face - i can’t just ring a friend and say meet you in 20 at de Vie ( a great cafe in newcastle). But of course you can get the warmth of conversation from strangers - tho sometimes i think because people know you are only here for a few weeks there is a lack of incentive for investment as you’ll soon be gone - plus they already have their own lives going on. I know i am ar risk of over analysis here and it’s nothing personal - people have been friendly enough and sometimes it only takes one conversation to get you through to the next day with a glow from the kindness of a stranger. And i know i chose to be here, i applied to do it, it’s what i do, it’s what makes me me - but that doesn’t mean to say i find it easy.

Similarly the whole personal space thing, the familiar, I have certain things that keep me grounded when i am at home. I hate to admit it but even i have routines. Having a dedicated space to work and live in. Somewhere to go and collapse and recharge. How do you get that living in a strange town in a B and B or flat? It’s making me think about connections, mechanisms and processess when you don’t have all those things, the stuff, around you. It’s making me think a lot.

The above is a very personal thing but it is not restricted to me. Whilst some issues facing people are issues of physical mobility or disability mine is a more psychological one. Regardless, or because, of my diagnosis i negotiate spaces and sutuations on a much more psychological level. And just because you can’t see my struggle doesn’t mean i’m not. For instance in the cafe at DCA i have ranked all the tables as ones i can sit at and ones i couldn’t even think about sitting at. Of the ones i can sit at i have ranked them in order. Depending on how well i am affects how far down that order i can go before i would be unable to stay and have to go somewhere else. I do that ranking instantly, almost unconciously. It is about safety, not necessary physical (although that may be part of it) it’s a psychological safety. When i approached DCA for the first time i had the same issues going on. How do i approach the door, the front desk, get down those huge stairs into that daunting space at the bottom. And so on.

I think people are atuned to being aware of physical disability - afterall you can see it - but what about other invisible disabilties. Just because i am ‘well’ or ‘well enough’ doesn’t mean to say i am well and without my disabilty. I have learnt coping strategies to mask it. We all do. But for me there isn’t a day goes by without me self monitoring my moods and how i am on all different sorts of levels. Self monitoring, working and exhaustion don’t go hand in hand. Something has to give. So on my last visit for instance, tiredness reduced my ability to self monitor, i failed to be adaptive to my situation and therefore had a small public bipolar ambush - which thankfully didn’t cause to much of an after shock.

So there is loads to learn for me here. Loads to do. Not just about how to do the residency, how to be resident which is perhaps work stuff there’s all the personal stuff. I wonder how much this was considered in the wider remit of the residency as it must have connotations for other disabled artists doing distant resident residencies - not all access issues are physical - i can’t be alone in this - this must be a common experience - i’d like to have a wider dialogue about this at some point.

Back in Dundee

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 18:41:00 -0400

I came up from Newcastle yesterday, all was going well except a diversion took me all the way back nearly Perth when I wanted the Tay Bridge. There is a slight difference between a diversion and a detour. I will be writing to Scottish Roads soon. I’m staying over the water so I actually look at Dundee. I really did get lost in Dundee. I was trying to follow the road signs to the Tay Bridge a couple of trips missing the flying over and narrowing down the lane roulette soon had me on the right track. I will be writing to Scottish Roads about adequate signage but also thanking them that they made a truth from my blog title and hash tag.

At DCA I entered from the car park. That Lift entrance, that ‘Shaft’ - it’s like being in one of those dodgy 70’s estates in some forsaken new town with dodgy subways where you just wouldn’t go for fear of what you’d find. Luckily I just found an empty lift with the aroma of yesterdays a la carte. (The food there is fine by the way). Straight up to the meeting room and artist talk time. Jackie Smith was first up and check out her blog.

My attempt at a talk was a fair effort but less chaos and more structure would have been good. It was more of a travelogue through my work, stopping off at some of the more interesting places. Well that’s my take on it. If nothing else everyone was impressed with the raspberries and cheese. Whilst the whole Bipolar stuff didn’t get many laughs - which surprised me - the bit about anxiety and being (or not being) a ‘Lurker’ raised a few hearty chuckles.

So it’s time to knuckle down and make some work. I have run a few ideas past Sarah (Derrick) and will start putting them into action in the coming days. Tomorrow though is Laser Day. i get to be inducted on the laser cutter and i can’t wait.

Photo

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 19:27:00 -0400

More First Impressions

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 19:20:00 -0400

More First Impressions

First Impressions

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 05:17:00 -0400

Was Monday a bank holiday in Scotland or is it just like everywhere else where it’s been assimilated by the need to shop. Really, I despair - what happened to quality time with friends and family. You could have gone to DCA and seen a movie, or some contemporary art which could have enriched your worlds in a much less prosaic way. Why didn’t you go to DCA?

So I wandered around - saw the fact that the library is on the top floor of a shopping centre - don’t you just love town planning! I’m hoping it’s not a statement about how Dundee values books and community etc. The McManus is a good place - beautiful building - in fact Dundee is blessed with lots of beautiful buildings. I ventured over to Olympia and was left wondering what with the lift out of order how would you get in their if you were in a wheel chair. Nor can you access Waterstones upper floor if you aren’t ambulant. Drop kerbs on one side of the road and not the other - interesting.

I was taken by the anti smoking audio outside the university - fantastic. I am going to record it and out it up here.

I met the education team and eventually lots of other people who work at DCA. I was made to feel very welcome. I’m not sure I’m wholly in residence at DCA yet but i was definitely in residence at the cafe for a good few days which provided an interesting window on the world. I met Bunty and Bella who gave me the lead to t ann cake which is a fab cafe in Dundee, as is the Parlour which has no link - pity tho thanks to the woman in waterstones for sending me there.

I got to meet Art Angel the mental health arts workshop/studios and Agent Bowditch at the Rep who is Scottish Dance Agent for Change. All discussions i had with individuals and organisations have proved useful. There is a lot to think about. A lot to respond to. Which is good for me because as a socially engaged text based artist I need dialogues to respond to in order to make my work.

Engage Everyone

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 19:23:00 -0400

The Engage Everyone project based at Dundee Contemporary Arts is running 2 Artist Residencies simultaneously until the middle of October. I am fortunate to be based in the Print Room at DCA for the majority of this time. I hope I am more Kid in a sweet shop than bull in a china shop. We’ll see.

Just so as you can get a feel for the stuff I do and the approach I have to making work you can see a general statement below.

Aidan Moesby is a socially engaged artist. His process is based around dialogues and conversations, forming the foundation of his research these lead to creative responses. These conversations may include one to ones with people or organisations or a more forensic dialogue with specific sites and locations. They may be spoken, observed or creative and are about discovering stories - we are constructed of our memories and these form and influence our identities. These personal and organisational myths affect how we are in the world and influence our relationships.

Moesbys’ work is further informed through the imagery and rituals we use to create and make sense of the everyday. He explores relationships between people and place through the distillation of intimate, often concealed histories. Often site-specific, no matter what the medium – ink, pixel, parquet, dust – the word and its meaning is paramount. He is obsessed by all things text and the letterpress tradition.

I arrived in Dundee on the afternoon of the 28th of August so I could settle in for a day, explore Dundee, get a feel for the place. The good news is I like Dundee. Phew! Part of my remit is looking at engagement in its’ broadest and unprescriptive sense - I am a keen explorer of social media. As I don’t know anyone in Dundee I am using the hash tag #lostindundee and #artontheroad together with the more official #engageeveryone.

I was going to blog as I went along but so much happened and the restrictions of B & B it didn’t quite work like that. I will be reflecting on the experience from here on in. It’s not just about DCA it’s also about being an artist in a strange town, alone for 5 weeks and living and working. The process of being resident as well as doing a residency.